The battle of the Baby Bulge

I know i promised pictures of my kiddos... and those are coming as soon as i find my camera cord again, i know i saw one of the kids with it recently. I am sure it will show up in the move next week, so then i can do a picture over load post. in the mean time a post of me rambling whilst the kiddos sleep and Cory studies for the impending final that is in 7 days.. dun dun dun!

*disclaimer: i know this is one of those annoying posts about weight, but really this is my blog so i can post what i want feel free to ignore it!*

For any one that knows me well, you probably already know my intense Gym addictions after I have a baby that never results in much else than me spending many hours in the gym! I always wondered if the problem was i was hitting the gym too soon after my babies, or the fact that i was just working out wrong? So after four babies and four years ( okay well 3-9 months in between pregnancies) of trying to lose weight I decided that I was going to shell out the exuberant cost and hire one of those personal trainers. You know, those annoying ones that they give you one free session with when you join the gym and then they try and pressure sell you into working you out and paying them lots of money? Yep got me one of those!

When January rolled around this year I decided it was time to actively lose the baby fat, Preston was 5 months old and we had decided no babies for at least 2-3 years now so i knew i had a big chunk of time to actually maybe possibly reach my goals. I started out with a month of sugar fast, no eating out or any processed foods, and working out 5 days a week. After the first month i was discouraged to see i had only lost 2 measly pounds.. Cory lost 15!! yep... 15 and all he did was eat healthier because that is what i was cooking! ( he has gained it back now since a 6' guy that's 145lbs is just scary and no one wants to see that many ribs! I put lots of butter on his food and made him take bigger portions... so hard to keep him fat and me not! ) I didn't get much further along my goal when we arrived in Oklahoma in march and I joined the gym here. I was desperate. I was chubby. I was vulnerable to the personal trainer and her sales pitch.

So i payed for 6 weeks of training and she thought that i could lose a pound a week. She went over my food journal and told me that i was doing great, just add some more protein and watch the carbs. Check and Check. I started working out 6 days a week for 2 hours a day. Sometimes I would go three hours because I felt like maybe it would help. I did lots of cardio intervals, weights, elliptical, stairs, spinning, and abs. After 6 weeks i had GAINED 6 pounds. I know, you are all thinking i was eating donuts every day. I wasn't. I ate 1500-1700 calories a day of oatmeal, salads, chicken, almonds, more salads and all the veggies i could think to put in there! ( the calorie amount is adjusted for breastfeeding, i was doing 1200 a day but my milk was decreasing in amount and baby was crying all the time) I followed what the personal trainer said to do to a T and you know what? I couldn't lose the weight. She asked if i was being honest in my food.. yes i was! And she knew when i worked out since they can look up the record at the gym. In the end she didn't know what to tell me. That was a month ago. Ever since that i was discouraged and frustrated and figured what the heck am i killing myself at the gym for?? So I have only gone to the gym 2-3 times a week and I have also ate whatever i wanted including cookies, half an avocado on a plate with just my fork because it sounded good, sweet potato fries, extra bowls of cereal at night when i am on the computer and feeling munchy! So the verdict. I lost the 6 pounds i had gained. LOL. really. So the more i work out and count my calories i gain weight, and when i just throw all caution to the wind i drop down to my original weight. Its all so confusing!

The verdict is unless you have no idea what a lunge, squat, and bicep press are you don't need to pay someone $500 to tell you. Or i guess if you don't know how to eat healthy, but you could just go to the library and look both these up for free. I do take lithium which can cause weight gain so that may be my problem, or the fact that it also affects the thyroid which i am going to get retested since if its sluggish it affects weight as well. Or maybe its the breastfeeding which I still am doing and all night long still. And I would stop but part of me loves it and wants to enjoy every last nurse because what if this is my last baby?? ( he is already 10 months and cruising!)

But hey on the positive side of things i can now honestly say the I tried my hardest to lose weight. And not feel so guilty about being a bit chubby now because even the personal trainer said she cant think of any thing else for me to do that i am not already doing. Plus Cory says he is a big fan of my larger chest which i must say did not exists when i was 120 lbs! So hey some fat is a good thing, right? Oh and i have tons of more muscle from all the workouts. My legs are really cut and i am lovin my new triceps , not to mention i can now carry the laundry basket full of three loads PLUS 20 lb Preston on top of it down three flights of stairs to the laundry mat! So ya, i guess the workouts were good for something?

I am just going to be happy with my body how it is. I will still go to the gym 3 days a week, but I have decided to stop obsessing over losing weight and just go for health and my "me" time to decompress.

So bring on the oreos! I was craving them anyways. And i can always go to the gym tomorrow! :)