So i cant sleep.. Its officially august now, just after midnight. I really thought he would have arrived before August. Nine months ago when I was freshly pregnant and only about 6-7 weeks along I was talking to my sister Thora. She was telling me about a dream that she had where I had a baby in August. The interesting thing was that I had not told my family I was pregnant yet. So then I told her that in fact I was pregnant but actually due the end of July. She then said that i would have the baby in August so that she could prophetic. Well I guess she wins. Its august... so anytime now baby you can come on out!!
After all the pre labor like symptoms of yesterday, today has been uneventful. No really contractions going on, and still no mucus plug or show or any kind. My back and stomach are sore from yesterdays bouts of false labor but that's it.
I am getting really anxious. I am starting to worry that he will die in there and i will never forgive myself for not inducing sooner. Or that he is going to have such a fat head that he wont descend. Or when i am feeling really irrational that even with induction my body wont go into labor and i have to have the dreaded c-section anyways. All the what if's are driving me ( and Cory because he has to listen to me) crazy.
Today would be a good day to have the baby. Cory only has 2 days paid to take off. Since his weekly days off are Sunday and Monday we really wanted to have the baby on Friday or Saturday so that he can have 4 days off in a row to be at my labor ( which will most likely be 2 days!! lol) and two days to be with the boys until i am released from the hospital. Of course knowing this i am sure the baby will arrive on Tuesday, the least opportune time.
Ugh i wish i could sleep. I don't want to take an Ativan to sleep because you are not supposed to take it within a couple days of having the baby because it could make the baby's lungs not work as well at birth. They say i am on such a small dose it could be fine... but I worry about it and so i don't want to take it. So that means i have not taken it in two weeks because i keep thinking he is coming.. and he keeps not coming.
okay i think that is enough of my sad pathetic 10 month pregnant woman whining for the night. Thank you all for your thoughts, comments, and support!
The Twins' Birth Story
11 months ago
2 comments:
Camilla - do your worries a favor - get a blessing! We will continue to keep you, your family and the new arrival of "Preston" in our prayers!
I am proud of you that you have made it this long . . . I wish I could carry to full term but that just doesn't happen for me and my kiddos - I guess my "oven" is broken!
awww...big giant hugs. I wish I could come and give you one in person.
I hope he decides that he can come out this weekend.
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